Mindfulness: A Helpful Explanation

I’m a bit of a podcast Geek, especially when it comes to anything having to do with therapy, mindfulness, and self-development. Recently, I was listening to a Dan Harris interview with Lili Taylor, who I’ve loved since her late 1980s movie roles in Mystic Pizza and Say Anything, on the 10% happier with Dan Harris podcast called "What's the Point? – A Simple Answer to Life's Biggest Question", and found his explanation about meditation challenges to be spot on. Lili spoke about the challenge of truly listening—both in acting and in her connection with birds (yes, birds) —and Dan linked her reflections to mindfulness in a way that felt especially clear, grounded, and insightful.

Dan: “…Just a quick note that came to mind when you were describing listening. And that harkens back to your earlier statement that you’re not good at meditating. The core rule of meditation…is...that when you get distracted, that is not a failure. Waking up from the distraction and starting again is the whole point. Yea. And that, that’s proof of success. And so it’s the same with birding, it’s the same with acting. It’s hard to pay attention. So, we’re just building the muscle by doing the reps.”

Lili: “I have a question. So when you started meditating, did you ever feel worse after meditating? Did you ever go into difficult areas of your mind that were actually very, very very difficult?”

Dan: “Yes, still happens…For many people, the primary misconception is that meditation is a thing you do to feel a certain way...You want to feel a different way.

Meditation is like a #*%$*!@ video game where if you want to move forward, you can’t move forward…The point is not to try to achieve a special state…It’s to feel whatever you’re feeling clearly. So that over time your feelings don’t own you as much. And that’s the key thing to understand...it’s totally fine if you walk out of mediation with more clarity into your sadness.

In fact, early in meditation, many people are like why am I more anxious now? And the answer is not that you’re objectively, measurably more anxious than you were before, it’s that you’re seeing it more clearly. And then over time what you learn is, oh, I can handle these feelings. I don’t have to neurotically re-up them all the time because I can sit with them.”

Though I've learned these concepts and even taught them to others, reminders like this are always so helpful.